Archive for zombies

Andrew Lincoln: Actor

Posted in Films, Hotties, Photos, TEEVee, Trivia with tags , , , , on November 28, 2011 by effingjro

I sometimes forget that the characters in my “stories” have had previous acting jobs. Which means that this adorable Brit:

Went on to become this Georgian corpse-killer:

While we can all agree that Andrew Lincoln is totally dreamy (even if he’s grown a bit skeletal himself since he started his Walking Dead stint) I think after tonight’s episode I’m firmly on Shane’s side – if you’re not busting zombie heads, you clearly have no interest in survival anymore.

Reading Rainbow: Colson Whitehead’s “Zone One”

Posted in Abandoned Buildings, Authors, Critical Theory, In the News, Reading Rainbow, Role Models, Writing with tags , , , , , , on October 12, 2011 by effingjro

Zone One - Out October 18

Some books read like love letters to New York City: Joseph Mitchell’s Up In The Old Hotel, for example, and Joan Didion’s gut-wrenching essay: “Goodbye To All That.”

Zone One? It’s hate mail for the whole island. There is a lot of gut-wrenching, though.

James Maher's take on Chinatown post-apocalypse

Meet Mark Spitz – he’s managed to survive after most of the population has been reduced to mindless ‘skels,’ only because he is so exceptionally mediocre. A consistent B student, whether he studied or not. The member of the senior class “Most Likely Not To Be Named The Most Likely Anything.” That mediocrity grants him a longer lease on life than his parents, his girlfriends, than almost anyone he knew before the innard-chomping nightmare the survivors refer to as ‘Last Night.’

It’s a good name. For the survivors sweeping Zone One in southern Manhattan, the evening when the world went mad stays fresh in their minds. How can they escape it? Mark and the two other civilians in Omega Unit spend their days picking off the wasted victims of the disease – walking corpses who still sport haircuts copied from sitcom characters and bear passing resemblances to former gym teachers, girlfriends, relatives.

That’s the problem when the whole world’s gone skel – the victims still have some shadow memory: they frequent the same hang-outs, wear the same clothes, maintain the same piercings and haircuts and facial features (at least until the skin starts rotting away). In an interview with GQ, Whitehead sums it up: “The skels are ghosts, other people haunted by their pasts. I’ve certainly been stuck on certain periods and events in my life, so a skel is a statue dedicated to nostalgia.”

Each monster has its trope. With vampires it’s abusive lust, with werewolves it’s a split personality. Zombies come in mobs, and with mobs there is a mentality. The skels in Zone One invite contemplation, not as sad skin sacks, but as walking memories of the people they were, people who were always part-monster to begin with.

In 'Zone One,' the skels are incinerated, creating clouds of ash over the city. By inbrainstorm

Zone One didn’t have to be a zombie novel, but it’s a handy device to dissect the problems of the populace post-Empire, particularly in a city. As a new recruit to New York, there are certain lines that hit me in the gut. Spitz will pick off zombies and consider their former, waking lives – He wonders when they came to the city, bright-eyed and ambitious, and how they’d been forced to settle in the intervening years, crowding around cocktail bars and laughing too loudly in attempts to capture some Sex and the City fantasy. He thinks about the shut-ins who barricaded themselves against the coming plague, particularly “new recruits” like myself, who were too fresh to the city to develop the kind of support system that could have afforded them a means of escape.

It scares you. Scared me, at least, in a way blood-spurting zombie movies never have.

Formally, it’s excellent. Spitz falls through temporal trap doors constantly in the narrative, moving backwards to memories of ‘Last Night,’ the deaths of his parents, unexpected skel attacks, and then he snaps to at the last moment, when his life depends on it. The language is carefully chosen, and evokes spinal cords, joints and necrosis, even when describing entertainment systems and subways. And there’s humor, too, in the unlikeliest places. When Omega Team spots a few walkers in the distance, they try to tell if they’re human or skel. The deciding factor? They’re wearing ponchos. “Only a human cursed with the burden of free will would wear a poncho.”

Definitely pick up a copy on the 18th. Whether you’re a zombie fan or not, this book has a lot to say.

Zombieland

Posted in Films, Hotties with tags , , , , , , , , , on September 12, 2010 by effingjro

You know how your life suddenly seems like it’s got a theme? For me it’s zombies right now.

First of all I saw Zombieland and it is great (though this is coming from a person who hasn’t seen Shaun of the Dead, which everyone assures me is the best horror comedy ever, I have no idea what I’m missing). It’s hard not to like a movie where every actor is awesome – Jesse Eisenberg plays a squeamish antisocial guy whose life philosophy is summed up in this line: “Even before everyone on earth became a zombie, I still avoided people like they were… zombies.” Emma Stone, on the other hand, is a smooth-operating con girl with serious trust issues. Throw in Woody Harrelson as a zombie-slaying redneck and Abigail Breslin as Stone’s equally savvy little sister, and that’s one sharp ensemble cast.

The only thing that bothered me about this movie is that I kept finding Woody Harrelson attractive, which makes me question who I am as a person. But the heart wants what it wants. Mine wants this, I guess:

Plus, seeing this movie is good practice for seeing Eisenberg play Mark Zuckerberg in The Social Network and watching Emma Stone go all neo-Mean Girls in Easy A.

More zombie news to follow shortly.

How Fallout 3 Helped Me Become a Man

Posted in I do stuff!, Video Games with tags , , , , , on July 30, 2009 by effingjro

So, gay dudes don’t get a lot of credit for shooting guns.

Look Mom, I shot a mutant!

Look Mom, I shot a mutant!

Or for playing video games, though mashing buttons is marginally less testosterone-packed than pulling triggers. Anyway, I happen to be pretty handy at the Xbox. It’s because I started training early on SNES with Zelda (GAY!), clocked some after-school hours on the Sega, and made a brief foray into PC games all before my little brother bought an Xbox. It’s the one thing I would actually consider stealing from him, which seems fair, considering how many sneakers and tshirts I’ve lost to him over the years.

Fallout 3. You should probably buy it. What do you like? Robots? Zombies? Soldiers? Aliens? Mutants? It’s got them all, and you can shoot them at leisure in awesomely rendered, Atomic Age throwback ruins around Washington D.C. Just pretend the Cold War never ended, but instead escalated aroun 1960 and then climaxed in a nuclear ballyhoo that wiped out most of mankind, except for a few underground homies who stockpiled and knew their stuff. Basically, you get a lot of ruins from some weird 1950 alter-America, plus baddies. I started playing over Spring Break this year, and left to visit (actual) Washington D.C. just as the game moved belowed ground into the zombie infested Metro. It looks like this:

Where the Zombies Are

Where the Zombies Are

Wowzers, was my trigger finger ever itching when I walked through the REAL Metro later that week.

I digress. The point of ‘How Fallout 3 Helped Me Become a Man’ is thus. This: last weekend I actually had to go and shoot a REAL gun, as opposed to the Xbox R-trigger variety, at a range near my friend’s house. Do you think I did I good job? Do you think Xbox helped sharpen my aim and reflexes? Well, not exactly. First, I was totally homo-fied to walk onto a shooting range with a bunch of burly NRA types. I actually missed about 45 out of 50 shots. Not stellar. At this point, I was about to run off in a cloud of pixie dust and shame. BUT that was because I didn’t listen to my inner-Xbox addict. I was shooting from the left, when like, duh, you just use your left hand for directionals on the Xbox controller, what are you THINKING, JRo?

Anyway, for my last five shots, the grizzled gun-range sheriff told me to shoot from the right, and HELLO maybe he’s an Xbox xpert, because I hit 3 of the next 5 ‘birds’ (they’re not birds, they’re neon clay discs, that is some hardcore wishful thinking, homes). And do you know why I hit those ‘birds’? Because I was shooting from the right. Right where the R-Trigger is on my Xbox controller.

In brief:

1. Playing XBox = Shooting Guns

2. Left hand dominance does not translate to video games OR shotguns

3. Thank you XBox for helping me to not embarrass my people on the shooting range. Even if it was a close call.

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